The Barcelona Blues: Why It Wasn't My Favorite City

I was pumped for Barcelona, after so many people telling me that I would just love it there! I gave myself more time to stay there than in the other cities. I booked a train to Barcelona, which took some time. I wasn't able to find a decent host on Couchsurfing, so I decided to just book a hostel in a smaller, all female room.

Arriving at the train station, Sants, I was so confused. That's because they had the long distance train, the regional train and the metro going through there. That's good and dandy, but at the same time the signage there didn't make things obvious. There was lots of figuring out to do. I knew that I was supposed to take a train a couple of stops, and I knew my destination station, so I waited in a line to talk to the one lady at the information desk that was open. Good. Which train am I actually catching? With no map, I wasn't sure. Called the hostel, and got no answer. Then I had to buy the ticket. A bunch of different looking machines. Which one do I use? Finally got my ticket. I go to the right platform, but they had a few different trains running through there. Had to ask again. The first two trains weren't right, but the third one was. The lady told me it was my train. Good.

I get to the hostel, ready to check in. This hostel was called Urbany Hostel on a street called Mediana. I added one night, then with the city's tourist tax and the hostel's key deposit, my bill was over 100 euros. So, I pulled out my lucky 200 Euro bill I got from the exchange house in Seoul. The guy at the counter looks at me like I'm crazy, then tells me that they don't accept 200 Euro bills. They asked me to pay by credit card, and I declined, knowing that my U.S. Bank charges very high fees when using their card overseas. My Korean bank card was for withdraws only, and they cost money too of course. I wanted to be careful. I wanted to use that precious 200 Euro bill I had. Can't go to waste, can it? I asked to go to the bank later to exchange it for smaller bills, which should be free. They said okay.

Why am I telling this in detail? You'll see later.

Question: Going Back to the U.S. After Ferguson?

Plenty has been happening while I've been on vacation in Spain

I'm a political and news junkie, and most weeknights you would find me on my bed, reading and watching the news. I'm almost always listening to political commentary whenever I get the chance. Even while vacationing in Spain, I'm still finding out what's going on via my cell phone and trusty tablet PC.

For the last week or so, I've heard the news about yet another black man killed by a police officer inappropriately. Since I've been paying attention, I realize that this is something that happens all the time. I see that black Americans are stopped by police, harassed, arrested for malicious reasons and often killed when they really shouldn't have been.  

However, this particular case has been all over the news, it looks like the people of Ferguson are rallying against it, and the happenings have been posted all over my Facebook feed. Political pundits on all sides are commenting on this story.

In light of all the coverage, I ran into a question posted in a Facebook group. Does the current state of affairs concerning police brutality against black people in the United States affect my decision on whether to go back?

I thought this was a good question to ask myself, especially as an expat that has been living in South Korea for almost four years now. I first moved abroad over four years ago, and I recently have thought about moving back.  

Single Black Female: My Own Experiences Dating in South Korea

My favorite dates always include a good meal!

I didn't specifically come to Korea to date, but to teach. However, I do make dating a mild priority while I'm here.

One of the first lessons I learned was:

Some are More Successful than Others

Dating is mindblowingly easy in Korea if you are of a certain demographic. I think we can all guess what that demographic would be. Here's an example:

I first came to Korea in 2010. I was working at a small kindergarten with two other foreign coworkers, both of whom were male. One was American.

One Sunday morning, I headed to the American's apartment looking for help. He told me that he could assist me. He offered me some water, and vented some of his frustration to me.

He ranted about a Korean woman who simply wouldn't leave him alone.

You see, they had met on a night out, where he made the mistake of giving away his phone number to this particular gal. She kept calling and texting him. He showed me the texts where the Korean woman kept asking to meet up with him at night, presumably for sex.

While this guy didn't like that girl, I noticed the thing that stood out: A Korean woman was begging this guy for sex?

I was in a relationship at the time, but the idea of it stuck with me.

Sometimes, a Good Korean Friend Can Truly Be Hard to Find

Wow! I'm in shock right now.

But let me begin with a story from awhile ago.

When I first arrived to Korea, I was starry-eyed and open to all of the new possibilities that the country could offer. I knew I would be exposed to a new culture, new food and new people. I knew I didn't speak Korean, but I was hopeful that I would be able to make good friends here easily. After all, I am a friendly person who likes meeting new people.

On that hiking trip some years ago. The woman referenced in the post is not in this picture

One day, I went on a hiking tour with a group of strangers. About half of them were Korean, and the other half were foreign students, military and teachers like me. I figured it would be a good way to meet new people.

While riding on a bus toward the mountain, a slightly older Korean woman approached me. Her English was good, I thought. She made up some small talk, asking me all sorts of questions about where I was from, and what I was doing in Korea.

When we talked about our hobbies, it appeared that we didn't have much in common. We weren't into the same leisure activities, didn't listen to the same types of music, nor did we have anywhere near the same sense of humor. We were different people, and that was okay. However, I did notice something. She stuck by me.

Throughout the bus ride and the long hiking trail, she made sure she stayed with me. The lady kept chatting and chatting with me. Even when I wanted to just walk, she seemed to always have something else to say. At the end of the day, she made sure she got my phone number.

Once she had that, she kept texting via SMS and calling, asking about when we were going to meet up again. She really wanted to hang out with me. Was she my new Korean friend?

Sense anything wrong yet?

Is There a Racial Bias in Recruiting in Korea?

A sample of a job advertisement I found back in 2012. I guess I don't qualify.

There are tons of positions to be had throughout Korea, the majority of which are either in public schools or in private academies, known as "hagwons". Most of these jobs are obtained through recruiters. These are the middle men whose job is to find qualified candidates for open positions in Korea.

Why do we have recruiters? Well, since the majority of job candidates speak little Korean, and the majority of school officials speak little English, recruiters are a necessary evil. From the job candidate's point of view, recruiters introduce them to job opportunities they wouldn't have found otherwise.

One day, I began the job hunt for my next position. At this point in the game, I much preferred dealing with schools directly, although I was still open to recruiters if they happened to have the type of position I was looking for. While looking at a desirable position, I thought about the particular recruiter that was offering it. I was pretty sure I had sent my resume to that recruiter before, but I never remembered them ever replying back. I took to my magical e-mail search function.

I was half right. Since 2010, I had sent them my resume 3 times. I had only heard back from them once. In that case, they wanted an interview, but requested a picture beforehand, not realizing I had already sent them one -- it was in the top-right corner of my resume. Nonetheless, I complied by sending an additional photo. I never heard from them again. This, in turn, caused me to think of all of the other resume black hole experiences I've had. I was wondering how I'd have fared in the job search if my skin were a different color. Would I have been treated differently?

Language Exchanges? Why I Switched to Private Tutoring to Learn Korean

At Yeouido Park with a (good) language exchange partner and some of his friends

 This is my third year in Korea, and I've previously written about the steps I have taken to improve my Korean.

Well, the neighborhood class I was taking ended in June, and after that I needed to figure out another way.

Language Exchanges

First, I decided to find a language exchange partner. That would be a situation where I would help a Korean with their English, and in exchange, they would help me with my Korean. That sounds like a good idea, right?

I tried this site, called Conversation Exchange, because there were lots of Koreans on it. When I filled it out, I began to receive messages from Koreans, usually men, who wanted to improve their English. They either needed it for a job, or their university course, they would say. That sounded promising.

My God They're Bold: Frustrations with Korean Boys and Their Solicitations for Sex

25th birthday. A day or night out with "friends" can easily lead to disaster.

 
One Sunday evening a couple of months ago, I met with a potential language exchange partner. I wanted to practice using Korean, but the course I was taking ended, and wasn't going to start up again for several months at least.

We met at an ice cream parlor. He told me that he had lived in America for awhile, and we were interested in the same TV shows. I thought we had hit it off. He could help me.

Not too long later, he started making comments, suggesting that I "must be popular" and he asked me whether I had a boyfriend. He began pestering me about coming over his place to cook dinner sometime. When I told him that I didn't know him well enough, he became pushy about it. "Then, I'll come over to your place." 

I let him know that also wasn't acceptable. I wanted to only meet him in public places. He quickly became frustrated. He told me that it was okay, nothing would happen. I didn't have a boyfriend, so why did it matter?

By then, what he was looking for was clear. I bluntly told him that I wasn't looking for sex. I wanted a language exchange partner.

"What?? No, that wasn't what I wanted!! You're crazy!"

The Time a Korean Man Followed Me Home

At the King Sejeong Museum by Seoul City Hall. Usually these things happen to me when I'm away from home.

That night, about three weeks ago, I was walking to my apartment with two coworkers, both of whom had decided to do some evening shopping at the local food mart. I was only a block away and didn't need anything, so I continued on to our street.

As I turned the corner, I walked by several drunk men in their late twenties or early thirties.  One of them called out "Helllo! Helllo!" I ignored him and kept walking.

When I was just a few steps from my apartment building, I realize that one of these men is following me. I had already felt exhausted from a long day's work, so I became frustrated. Thinking that he would probably go away, I walked by my building and into a convenience store. I come out and he's magically reemerges. I walk to the food mart. He ducks around the corner and waits for me to come out.

I didn't want this man to see where I lived, nor did I want him to catch me in a secluded area. Very bad things have happened to women in these situations, so I try to be careful and do my best to keep aware of what's going on around me.

That man followed me as I kept walking around the block and eventually he got tired, instead asking me for my phone number. I shook my head and circled the block again. I had finally made it to my apartment safely. I have been followed, groped, violated and flashed before in Korea, but this was different. None of these things had happened so close to home. And that was the scary part.

Life in Korea Requires a Thick Skin ... Really!

Living in Korea isn't always easy

After having a rather intense conversation with another westerner last week, I began to think about how we even survive here.

Well, overall life is pretty comfortable in the land of the morning calm. From my blog entries and Facebook posts, Korea may look like it's all fun and games. However, some actions or episodes can really make me hate certain aspects sometimes.

You may be saying, "Well, that's just culture shock." But it's beyond that. Foreigners have been saying the same thing to each other ever since I first came here. You need to have a thick skin to survive in Korea.

It's the reason why many people don't see themselves staying longer after a year or two. And it can be even worse for those of us who aren't white westerners. Seemingly tough and secure people can break -- emotionally -- after just a couple of years on the peninsula. Some folks break quickly and pull a midnight run. I've seen friends suffer and leave with no intentions of returning.

Why is that so? Certain experiences can be really grating, even if they're from students.

For example, during a recent discussion on basic hygiene vocabulary, a student declared that I must be dirty because my skin was brown. She said that over and over again, and the class thought that was hilarious.

I've also been called a monkey, and have gone through classes with disruptive students making gorilla noises.

Letting the hate get to you will make you lose your mind

 

 

I've had children and adults say awful things about my natural hair. According to some people, it's bad, ugly and dirty.

On top of that, imagine watching television. Every commercial break shows advertisements featuring skin whitening creams. In its seasonal peak, summertime, every commercial break promotes three or four ads telling me that I'd be more beautiful if I bleached my skin.

As soon as the summer sun comes out, so do the parasols ... the pretty umbrellas designed to block sunlight. That's to keep them from getting darker. There's even a joke claiming that the quickest way to make a Korean woman insecure is to compliment her tan.

Now, after experiencing these sorts of events, imagine not having anyone to talk to about them. For example, my English-speaking coworkers are white and seemingly would never understand. In my time here, I've seen the locals give favorable treatment to my whiter counterparts. It's difficult to talk to a very average looking man who's constantly being told he's handsome by the locals.

As a result, it can be very easy to feel alone and helpless.

Temple Stay at Magoksa Temple (마곡사) and a Trip to Independence Hall (독립기념관)

When I first came to Korea, I learned about doing a temple stay. Temple stays, as I was told, offered a more unique and intimate experience with the history of Korea and Buddhism. 

Some buildings at Magoksa Temple

How to Sign Up

Basically, there are some temples in Korea where you can do a temple stay. There are options of staying for just a day, or staying for a night or two. In theory, you can sign up and go on your own, but that might be tricky if you're not fluent in Korean.



We all had a chance to bang this drum

A common option is to do what I did, which was sign up for a temple stay with other foreign tourists and residents through a travel group or agency. These sorts of agencies make everything simple. I was able to sign up and send them money to confirm my spot. After that, all I had to do was show up at a location in Seoul at a certain time, and board a rented bus going straight to our destination. It's much easier because you don't have to deal with figuring out how to get there or even simply communicating with temple representatives due to the language barrier. A popular agency is Adventure Korea. There are also groups available on Meetup that do similar trips and organize temple stays.



One of the Shrines

I did my own Temple Stay at Magoksa Temple (Korean: 마곡사). It's located in Gonju city in the Chungcheongnam province. I went with an agency now called Wink Travel and Culture Group with William Cho as the organizer. I actually wouldn't recommend them, as I've had a couple of negative experiences with the group related to two different trips. I'll explain that later. The Magoksa Temple, however, was wonderful... I would certainly recommend doing your stay here. To clarify, I went when I first arrived to Korea back in 2010. 

To learn more or organize your own trip yourself, go here for contact information and instructions on how to get there. It's a bit of a trek from Seoul, but it's not too bad or complicated.

The Program

Celebrating Cinco de Mayo and Friendship!

Last weekend has been an eventful one for me.

At first, my heart was broken by someone and I was a bit upset, but luckily for me I was able to recover and I had a great time.

Cinco de Mayo at On the Border restaurant

It started with a simple Cinco de mayo get together at the On the Border restaurant located by Apgujeong Rodeo station. On this particular night, a group was able to buy out the restaurant for a get together. We were able to have all-you-can-eat tacos, burritos, chicken wings, salad and nacho chips. Not to mention a seemingly endless supply of margaritas! I tried a bit of everything, and I'm happy to say that the food was all great! 

On the Border, taken from their website

To those who might be concerned about the quality of the food, On the Border served us our tacos, burritos and salad with real salsa, sour cream and guacamole. The servings also had an acceptable amount of meat. Don't worry, I've been to my fair share of Mexican restaurants in Korea and have gone through the tragedy of paying a fortune to receive substandard food. Imagine paying more than $20 for a plate only to receive more lettuce and tomatoes than carne (meat/beef)? At On the Border, this is not so. I was also cynical about the margaritas ("Oh, they'll probably run out then serve only cheap beer...") but these surprised me as well. They truly meant all-you-can-drink and the drink was strong. They kept those coming too. 

To check this place out, keep in mind that the restaurant is located in Seoul by the Apgujeong Rodeo station on the Bundang Line. After coming out exit #6, walk straight and make a left onto the first small street. Then, make a right into the first little alley way and walk down. The restaurant is located on the left.

Here I was able to meet some chill people and have good conversations.

Club Answer

Our next stop was club Answer in Cheongdam. 

We took a taxi there, so I can't be sure of the exact directions, but the internet tells me it's close to Cheongdam station on line 7. 

So ... What Is Going On with North Korea?

Kim Jong Un and North Korea have kept themselves in the headlines lately

While reading the news, I've noticed that Kim Jong Un and North Korea have been stepping up their ridiculous rhetoric over the past few weeks. As a result, North Korea has been dominating the news, occupying the top story spot for most of the past two weeks.

As a result, people all over the world have been wondering what is going to happen next. After all, I and everyone else would rather have peace on the Korean Peninsula. 

As an expat here in Korea, I've known quite a few folks to be receiving phone calls, e-mails and even facebook messages from worried friends and family members. No one in my family has contacted me personally, but that's because they probably haven't been paying attention (they tend to get their news locally on TV, and my family's not known for following international conflicts).

In related news, I'm staying relatively close to the Osan Air Base.  Just about every morning I hear different planes wizzing over my apartment building.

The truth is that life has been continuing as usual. Locals and expats alike are still going to work and heading home. They still find their way to the bars to get drunk. They still eat out at restaurants, and so on. There isn't any sort of widespread panic or chaos, and on average, expats are more "worried" than the locals, who have been hearing flaming rhetoric from their northern neighbors their entire lives. People are calm because threats of total destruction are normal for the south. So they continue to do what they normally do.

That said, it doesn't mean that nothing will happen. North Korea could still torpedo another ship or shell another island. They could even shoot rockets or invade. However, it appears to be unlikely that a full-scale war will happen, since Kim Jong Un would have nothing to gain and everything to lose after such a move. At the same time, we still have to be alert -- which is what people are. All Koreans know what is going on and are paying close attention. They just don't let it disrupt their lives.

As for me, I'm ok. All I can do is sit and wait to see what happens next. Let's hope for the best, shall we?

The Curious Case of Lauren's Locks

So... how do I deal with my hair while overseas?

It helps that I have been doing my own hair since I was 17 years-old. I haven't stepped into a hair salon in years. 

My hair's not usually like this, but it's fun when it is!

However, some folks with hair like mine aren't as lucky and need a professional's help. Those can be particularly hard to find, especially when you're in a country where few look like you. The good news is that girls and women can usually find a way to solve their problems. They either learn to do their own hair, or find at least one person willing to take them on ... although that usually involves paying a premium.

As for me, what has my experience been?

The majority of my issues have to do with how people react to my hair, believe it or not.

• In just about every country, including Argentina, Korea, Colombia and China, I had people simply stare at me. This is especially so whenever I wore my hair out in an afro. Even though there are lots of people of African decent in Colombia, all of them straightened their hair.
• Sometimes I have to deal with comments. Some of these are positive and some are negative. These can be something nice, like, "Oh, your hair is so pretty!" However, in Korea I have had kids tell me that my hair was bad and ugly. Korean youngsters and old people love to ask me whether I wash my hair. Yes, not "How often do you wash your hair?" but "Do you wash your hair??" 
• Then, there's the touching. If I'm lucky, someone would ask first. Unfortunately, folks usually just reach out and put their dirty fingers in my hair. Older women and men in Korea are sneaky, they'll inspect my locks and most of the time I won't even notice. The worst experience was when a woman in Bogota, Colombia, grabbed my arm, pulled me toward her and exclaimed that she just needed to touch my hair. I can't stand it when people touch me when it's not appropriate!

There are other challenges I face. While I usually bring enough product to last my stay, sometimes other people are a bit careless. At my home stay in Argentina, someone used up all my shampoo. Today, I have to warn folks who sleep over to not use my hair products. That's because it's not easy for me to get more of them. I've also had to work with bureaucratic types who don't have equipment designed for curly hair. I once went to a swimming pool where everyone was required to wear a swimming cap, and none of them fit on my head. Another time I had to wear a helmet, but all of them were too small.

But that is all. In the grand scheme of things, I adore my hair and just try to make the best of the situation.